By the Editor/MadisonChatham This Week

It’s not that we’re against corporate sponsorship of, well — just about everything on Earth. We admit that we once thought it had gone a little far.

But that was before we decided to welcome sponsorship into our everyday life.

With a new stream of serious sponsor revenue, we could then, for instance, be able to pay both the gas and cable bills in the same month.

We discussed this with family members the other night during our Visa® Pre-Dinner Conversation. “We could probably get more from Verizon Wireless® or AT&T®,” said our daughter. “After all, they’re all about communication.”

Our daughter should know, inasmuch as she is singlehandedly responsible for all wireless phone service provider profits.

We thought this over as we stirred pasta in our Calphalon® Unison™ Nonstick Pot. “What does your ‘Free shipping on purchases of $69 or more only at Dick’s Sporting Goods®’ brother think?”

“Dunno,” she said. “But his agent switched him to Sports Authority® last week. You just cost him a bundle by mentioning — you know, that place you mentioned. And he’s going by his Na’vi® name now—Gia’tucan. Please get with the program. The last thing we need is a lawsuit from Cameron. Remember what he did to those Web sites that expropriated Terminator 2® content?”

“How do you know what ‘expropriate’ means?” we asked her.

“We learned it in the Wikipedia ® school cafeteria, ‘Where Words Come to Life,’ ” she said. So there you have it — a New Year’s resolution to sponsor our lives and everything in them.

We’d tell you more, but we need to have the cat fitted with a sandwich board so local restaurants can buy advertising space on it. After all, our cat gets around, and that’s gotta be worth something.

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